Tech & Screen Time as Differently Wired Unschoolers

Technology! We use a LOT of tech in our home education. In fact, when asked recently on the Homeschool Together podcast what was the one thing is our homeschool I couldn’t do without, I answered “the internet”. However, tech and screen time are often controversial topics in homeschooling and even unschooling groups – both from a “screen time is not good” persepective and from a “no rules” perspective.

So, what do we do?

My kids don’t have daily screen limits and tech is never a “reward” here.

But we do have boundaries!

Chores (both kids have their own chores to deal with) and basic self-care of eating, drinking and getting bodies moving are non-negotiable every day. Part of being differently wired with an ADHD brain is the (mostly) awesome ability to hyperfocus. But, as well as the good aspects of this, we can all hyperfocus and forget to look after ourselves or do tasks we have taken responsibility for doing.

With the kids, we use Xbox screentime limits to build in breaks and make sure the non-negotiables are dealt with. If they want screen time in the morning, they need to get their breakfast and feed the dog. I can often be heard using now/then statements around screen-time, e.g. “you have an hour of screen time, then I want you to get outside and move your body/have lunch/read that book your book club is reading this week”. We try to model that we all need to make sure we are looking after ourselves and getting done what needs to get done. It’s executive functioning skills that our kids need to actively learn as it doesn’t come naturally to many differently wired kiddos, especially those with ADHD.

Both kids have their own tablet, which are in rugged cases with screen protectors to try and make them last longer (ADHDers are notoriously hard on tech belongings!). We have found that tablets and the games on them are harder to not hyperfocus on and harder to transition from. These games and apps are, after all, designed specifically to keep your attention and we discuss this with our kids. So, we have instigated a rule where tablets are for from lunchtime only Monday to Friday – and only if chores are done and some lunch has been eaten. Exceptions are made for classes, and calls to friends as we always want to encourage communication and socialising, but I have to then set myself reminders to circle back and check that they haven’t moved straight from a video call to gaming and forgotten to put the device down.

We have a no devices at dinner rule for the whole family. It’s not necessarily no-screens as sometimes we will choose to have dinner watching a movie or a TV series we’ve been watching as a family. But family dinners where we talk to each other, however briefly, are a priority in our house.

We also have a no devices in the bedroom general rule, with the only exception being online classes before our daughter had a desk in a room downstairs, and video calls with friends that we know about.

Some so-called “radical” unschoolers say kids will self-regulate and that parents should not control or restrict screens in any way, but this is essentially ableist thinking, as neurodivergent people (adults AND kids) can really struggle with self-regulation, particularly around screens and devices, and need scaffolds to make it work.

So, for us, what works is a lot of freedom, but with clear boundaries.

Still, so often, I see and hear the question “but don’t they just watch YouTube/play video games all day every day?”. It’s a common concern about homeschooling and unschooling.

But actually, they don’t.

Some of this is about our “scaffolds” discussed above and simply reminding them that there are other things they want to do with their time.

Some of it is about having opportunities that are actually more appealing than screen time: chosen classes, playdates and field trips with friends, family outings, family board games or movie watching, subscription boxes, magazine subscriptions, new books from the library…

Yes, some days they will use a lot of screen time, whether it’s because they have something they want to be doing, or perhaps because they’re tired from the day before and need a down-time day. But it balances out.

And actually, is screen time so bad? Research into it tends to treat all screen time as a monolith, but that’s simply not how it works these days. It’s not just kids stuck in front of TV shows all day from which they don’t learn anything. It’s classes, socialisation, learning about subjects, even highly academic subjects, learning skills, practising skills, decompressing, regulating, exploring new topics and getting inspiration. And it doesn’t have to mean that kids do not get time outside, exercise or face-to-face socialising.

Reflecting on the screen time question has been a huge part of my deschooling process. So much can be learnt via screens nowadays, and often that learning can come from something that might, on first glance, look like “fluff”. Our eldest learnt the principles of genetics from YouTube. Both kids have learnt, and been inspired to learn, geography, history and mythology from video games. Our youngest even taught himself to read to facilitate his video game playing, using another screen tool!

And tech can make so many things more accessible, more possible. In our house that can look like our tween dipping into high school science subjects, because they are freely available on Khan Academy. It can look like us listening to audiobooks when me reading aloud is not possible or would make life harder, such as when we’re driving or I’m making dinner or eating myself. It can look like our kiddo, who can struggle to settle with a physical book, listening to an audiobook whilst building a horse farm on Minecraft. It can look like us accessing international experts, like the time we joined a virtual tour of central Athens with an archaeologist. And it can look like some co-op classes continuing despite the pandemic.